Small Realities

Inside the mind of Lance Schonberg

Politics in Canada

Apparently, we’re going to have an election in the Great White North very shortly, as if I hadn’t guessed that from all of the kinder, gentler Stephen Harper ads that have been running for the last week or so.  And why have they dressed him up like he stars in some 1950s sitcom?  Sure, Uncle Stevie, we believe you.

The election comes year early, some how contravening the Fixed Election Dates Act in a legal way, at least according to the PM, because Parliament is ‘dysfunctional’.  Parliament is dysfunctional because the Liberals don’t show up to vote and the Conservatives have gotten everything they wanted since they came to power?  This makes sense, somehow?  Uncle Stevie, I’ll have whatever it is you’re smoking.

Back to my point: the Fixed Election Act was supposed to make it impossible for a government to call an election when they think it’s most advantageous, but we trust Uncle Stevie, don’t we?  Transfer formulas, income trusts, corporate welfare, fixed election dates, ethics and transparency, capital gains exemptions, soft wood lumber, access to information, clean air, and on, and on, and on.

I think the motto for the coming election (and how does everyone know that it’s going to be announced, anyway?  Why is every important government announcement known by the media before it’s actually announced?) should be something like: Stephen Harper, leaving no promise unbroken.

I’m going to go out on a limb and make an election prediction: for the first time since World War II, we’re going to have a coalition government.  The Liberals and the Green Party will together gain enough seats for a very slim majority and will celebrate the coalition by announcing the Wedding of Stéphane Dion and Elizabeth May to take place no more than thirty days after election night while Smilin’ Jack looks on enviously and stamps his feet.  And poor old cousin Gilles, well, who cares?

You read it here first.

Does anyone find themselves nostalgic for Paul Martin?  Well, maybe not, but given a real chance I’m sure I would have liked him a lot better than Uncle Stevie.


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