Small Realities

Inside the mind of Lance Schonberg

Not a Zombie Parody Song

So I know I said I’d post a zombie parody song today.  It runs to the tune of “Bad Side of the Moon” by April Wine, replacing “Bad” with “Dead” and rewriting most of the rest of the song in not so subtle ways.  In fact, it’s not all that subtle at all, but it is kind of funny, but maybe only if you’re both an April Wine fan and entertained by the idea of taking down a few of the walking dead.

This is not it.

I opened up the file with the full intention of copying and pasting it into the very space I’m typing over right now and then I didn’t.  And I’m not going to.  Not only that, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around why that is.  Am I getting sqeamish in the long run up to my 40th birthday?  Maybe, on some very basic, instinctive level I believe it completely sucks.  Either or, maybe.  It’s not that horrific and I’d really say it falls under comedic horror, anyway.

So why don’t I want to post it?

It’s not something I’d normally write, which isn’t bad in and of itself, and it was a neat little experiment.  I keeps the tone and the rhythm of the original song very well, if I do say so myself.  I’m not adverse to zombies: I’ve written a handful of zombie short stories and flash pieces plus several poems featuring zombies.  I posted something that might qualify as zombie erotica on my live journal page back in November.  At the time, I debated posting the story over some misguided impression that my kids might read my blog, eventually concluding I was probably deluding myself that would happen.  Someday, maybe, but not just yet.

What do I want them to think when they do start reading my blog and skim back through the archives?  Is that it?  I don’t want them to think I do things for shock value, I don’t want them to think I back away from things because I’m worried about other people or my own fears, and I don’t want them to think I’m some stupid old goofball with a zombie fixation.  None of these things are true.  All I really want them to think is that they can make their own informed decisions about what to think.

Bringing us back to what is my problem about posting this silly little zombie parody song?  I don’t know.  There’s nothing wrong with indecision in an information vacuum.  The reasoning will bubble up to conscious levels or it won’t.  If it does, I’ll make the decision then.  In the meantime, I don’t mean to tease, and just in case you really need something zombie related to complete your day, I will post here the one and only zombie sonnet I’ve ever written: “And Yet In Death”.

{And Yet In Death removed due to submission for potential publication.  In the event of rejection, I’ll put it back up.}

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2 thoughts on “Not a Zombie Parody Song

  1. This is the only zombie sonnet I have read. It both moved and pleased me. My great thanks to thee, o bard of the undead!

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